Spring Break: Breasts, Booze & Friendship

Breasts, booze and friendship, the three definitive pillars that make any good Spring Break expedition a success. If you’re planning for the Spring Break season,  we recommend these destinations to not only cover all the three definitive pillars of breasts, booze and friendship, but to also make it the greatest time of your life to date.

Work can wait and you can sleep when you’re fucking dead. Skip volunteering at that soup kitchen and think about taking a gap year and travel abroad. There are lots of opportunities (working and otherwise) in different countries that can provide a welcome distraction to the youthful spirit plus add some vital life skills and experience. Whether you put it on your résumé though, is entirely up to you.

The White Island – Ibiza

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Cancun has been done to death. Get a real Spanish experience hombre and visit the isle of Ibiza. Ibiza and hedonism are basically synonyms and if the colorful island doesn’t interest you the legendary nightlife and music scene should. Ibiza’s clubs have a sophisticated vibe and you wouldn’t be hard pressed to meet interesting people to show you the local regions of Spain.

Even Leo approves.

If the opulence and bacchanalia overwhelm you, Cafe del Mar may have the slower-paced atmosphere you’re looking for. Wherever the roads lead, there are also lots of senoritas that can help you work on your “romance” language.


Experimenting in Amsterdam

It’s not just about the weed. Okay, so maybe it is but there’s plenty more to do in the canal city of Amsterdam. You can let your straight laced travel partner visit the awesome parks and Anne Frank’s house while you toke up on a canal trip around the city. The coffee shops are in numerous supply and don’t just sell beverages and food; they’re selling the ganja as well. Drug tourism pisses off some of the neighboring German districts as they don’t like foreigners smoking up all over their city so be weary of your actions if you decide to indulge.

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Check out the municipality laws before you blaze on blazer. And what goes well with marijuana? Tits, of course. The Red Light District has window shows, legal prostitution and a bunch of sex shops for every kink so leave your inhibitions at the door. If you’re religious, stay well clear.


Backpacking in New Zealand

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We’ve all seen Lord of the Rings and thought, “Damn that place looks nice.”  Seeing the glow worms in Waitomo Caves is a big draw card but so is bungee-jumping off one of the many designated waterfalls peppered over the south island. If you’re feeling particularly zany (or lazy) go Zorbing down all those hills you see in the movies. Oh, and as a side note, hang on to that tip; its not customary or required in New Zealand.

Use that money you saved to buy beer. Lots and lots of beer. Keep up with the locals beer for beer and you might gain some respect from your fellow Kiwis. It’s hard to be a tourist in New Zealand because of the friendly charm but for God’s sake, don’t confuse them with Australians…they hate that. Feel free to praise their Rugby team for extra points.

 


Cooper Powers “It’s better to be seen than viewed”
BOSS-Certified Writer

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